You Are Who You Are
by Ashrandi the skull kid
Summary: Some people can be jerks... and Lon'qu gets a harsh reminder of this fact when his gynophobia becomes the center of a cruel joke. Lon'qu/Avatar (Warning: Contains bullying and spoilers.)
1. Aftermath

**A/N: Okay, first and foremost, I do not own Fire Emblem. If I did, I would be the happiest girl on Earth… but I don't.**

**This idea popped into my head a while ago and just wouldn't leave me alone. This is my first time writing about anything that could be even slightly controversial, so please bear with me. I hope you enjoy it; if not, then I hope it gives you something to think about.**

The sun had already sunk below the horizon, but Lon'qu was nowhere near ready to stop training. Or, more accurately, he just didn't want to think for a while longer. Perfecting the art of swordsmanship required all of his focus; it left no room for pondering what had happened earlier that day.

"Lon'qu?"

The myrmidon startled at the voice behind him, whirling around to strike at whoever had just appeared. The girl was well out of striking distance, though her eyes were wide with surprise. "Wren!" Lon'qu's entire body tensed and his cheeks flushed at the sight of the army's tactician. "What… what are you doing here?" If he hadn't been so startled by her appearance, then he might've remembered that it was quite common for her to be in the training area.

Wren shrugged and looked off to the side. "You weren't at dinner. Is something wrong?" she said, fiddling with one of her green braids. The concern in her voice told him what she hadn't said, that she was worried about him.

Lon'qu's face turned an even deeper shade of red. He was grateful that it was dark enough that she couldn't see that. "It's… nothing." He would rather tell everyone in camp what had happened before he told her.

He could almost feel the disbelief in her gaze. Wren was a brilliant woman; it really didn't surprise the myrmidon that she could see through his lie. But, mercifully, she didn't press the issue. "Okay," she said. For a moment, it looked like she was about to move forward, to close the distance between them, but she just rocked on her heels instead. "Just… promise me you'll get some sleep. And food. I think there's still some left."

With that, she turned around and walked back to the tent she shared with Sumia and Cordelia. Lon'qu finally relaxed once she was out of sight, letting out a long sigh. Wren was so considerate of his gynophobia – when she wasn't trying to just get rid of it – but sometimes he wanted her to ignore it. He didn't know why he felt that way; all he knew for certain was that he wanted her to comfort him the same way she had for Chrom after the exalt's death. But he also didn't want her to know why he needed that comfort.

"Women…" Lon'qu sighed, putting down his practice sword. Sleep might not be that bad. As he walked back to his own tent, the myrmidon felt the simple ring in his pocket, just to make sure it was still there. After all the trouble it had caused him, Lon'qu didn't want to lose it…

**A/N: What could he possibly be so worried about? Stay tuned to find out.**

**Critiques and comments would be appreciated.**


	2. What Happened in Town

**A/N: This entire section is a flashback. Also, this may need a trigger warning, but I have no idea what it would be.**

**Also, this is probably going to be the longest chapter in this story.**

Earlier that day…

Ylisse was very different from Regna Ferox. Everything was more… fancy. That was just Lon'qu's opinion, though; Regna Ferox probably looked barbaric to an Ylissean. However, that wasn't what he was thinking about when he went into town. No, he was too focused on getting to a jewelry shop. A women's jewelry shop.

This was not going to be easy.

"Just… go in… Ask for a ring…" the myrmidon mumbled to himself as he paced, the jewelry shop on the other side of the street. People kept passing him and giving him odd looks. They didn't try to disturb him, though, so he ignored them. Gathering his courage was far more important. After all, he was doing this for Wren.

Chrom's tactician had been a thorn in his side when he first joined the army, always pestering him and forcing him to dodge fruit. She even snuck into his tent! And for what? To hear him laugh. That was when he started feeling… something… for her. When he smiled, so did Wren, and that just made him want to smile more. Being around her was easier than being around any other woman. In fact, Lon'qu found himself _wanting_ to be around the tactician, even when they weren't training.

He knew then that he wanted to always be with her, to… marry her. The only thing keeping him from asking already was that he needed a ring.

Finally, after he just started to wear a divot in the ground from his pacing, Lon'qu stopped, turned to face the shop, and walked in.

It was every nightmare he had ever had. There were at least seven women just browsing the wares – and a few who undoubtedly worked there – and just about all of them looked at the myrmidon when he entered. Lon'qu wanted to bolt right then and there, but he closed his eyes and imagined Wren's smile. It… didn't really help. A few girls turned to each other and whispered before starting to giggle. Immediately, all the color drained from his face, and he began sweating. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea…

"May I help you?" one of the workers asked him from a few feet away.

If he hadn't been frozen with fear, Lon'qu would've definitely fled at the sudden question. As it was, he just nodded, trembling at the proximity of so many women. He swore that those giggling girls were now joking about "such a big, strong man" being scared of jewelry.

"What can I help you with, then?" the worker asked, motioning him to follow her.

...

Lon'qu wasn't entirely sure how he managed to obtain the ring. After the first few questions, the myrmidon felt like he was walking in a daze, a poor attempt by his mind to block his fear he guessed. But, in the end, he left the shop, holding a simple engagement ring. Letting out a sigh as he got away from the shop, Lon'qu put the ring into his pocket. Maybe he would ask Wren tonight, after his nerves settled…

"Did I just see what I think I saw?"

Was today "sneak up on Lon'qu" day? The myrmidon turned to look at the source of the voice. A small group of soldiers were standing around by the blacksmith's, and the one who had spoken was leaning against the wall. If it weren't for the fact that the soldier had obviously directed the question at him, Lon'qu would've just kept walking. "That depends," he scowled. The tone in that man's voice had not sounded friendly or curious at all, and Lon'qu took an aggressive tone in response to it.

The soldier was apparently waiting for him to say something else, but when he didn't, the soldier sighed and pushed off of the wall. "I thought I saw you holding a ring. So, care to tell us who the lucky man is?"

As the other soldiers burst out laughing, Lon'qu just froze. 'No… it's not like that,' he thought, but the words just wouldn't come out. So many years in Regna Ferox had almost made him forget what happened before. He'd been afraid of women since he was just a boy on the streets, and this had happened before. In Rosanne… in Valm as a whole… anywhere he'd ever gone that wasn't Regna Ferox.

"I'm not hearing an answer," the soldier continued. "No, let me guess… Gregor! It's gotta be him! I don't see you with anyone else." Not only was the soldier saying those things… he was practically shouting at this point. People besides the other soldiers were looking now, and a few were even joining in on the laughter.

Lon'qu gritted his teeth. This wasn't happening; it _couldn't_ be happening! Just because he was afraid of women didn't mean he was…

"I guess I was right, then!" the soldier continued to jeer. "Why don't we congratu– " The rest of the man's sentence was cut off as Lon'qu's fist met his face.

Sometime between the "guess" and the "right," the myrmidon snapped. Balling his hands into fists, he had just charged at the soldier. No shouting, no heads-up… just a punch Lon'qu put all his weight behind. Wren had once said that he was so quiet that he'd make an excellent assassin. At the moment, he had to agree with her.

The soldier stumbled back into the wall, holding his nose. "Hey! Watch it! You could've killed me!"

"That's the point," Lon'qu said without thinking. All he could see was red, and all he could feel was hate. The myrmidon pulled back his fist for another punch when someone grabbed him around his chest and pulled him back.

"Oy! What is with the fighting of allies?" Gregor struggled to keep Lon'qu from charging at the soldier again, who, at this point, looked like a frightened rabbit. "Save the punching for bad guys, yes?"

"Let. Me. Go!" the myrmidon howled. He wanted to let this soldier know pain. Lon'qu needed that horrid man to feel all of his pain. Instead, he felt Gregor pulling him away from the soldier, who sneered at him, revealing a quite broken nose.

"Gregor is not letting go until Lon'qu stops with the punching."

Lon'qu yelled until there was no more breath in his lungs. He knew he was far too weak to get away from the mercenary, but he exhausted himself trying. Finally, he stopped struggling, leaning on the older man's arm for some support as he caught his breath.

"Is Lon'qu ready to stop with the fighting now?" The myrmidon glanced at Gregor. The old mercenary looked genuinely worried about him, but that just made Lon'qu feel worse.

Pushing Gregor's arm away, he groaned, "Yes. Now leave me alone." Lon'qu managed to walk back to camp without falling over, and, after a quick nap, he jumped right into training…

**A/N: I apologize if I insulted anyone with this. I'm not going to explore this idea too deeply, though, because then I'd never finish the story.**

**Please don't flame me, although critiques and comments would be greatly appreciated.**


	3. Result of Training

**A/N: I wanted to keep the time frame of this story semi-ambiguous, so I hope I hope I did a good job with that. Also, Lon'qu may be a bit out of character here, but I tried to do him justice. I really did.**

No one asked why there had been a fight. In fact, only Gregor really knew that it was Lon'qu who broke that soldier's nose. The myrmidon didn't question it; maybe the soldiers didn't want to look like they were badmouthing one of the army's best swordfighters. It didn't matter if they said anything or not. Lon'qu just didn't feel… right, anymore.

Several days passed, but nothing got better. When they weren't on the march, Lon'qu was in the training area, perfecting his swordplay until he couldn't hold a sword anymore. It was something to do that forced him to forget about his problems. Somewhere in the back of his head, he thought that if he ignored them long enough, they would just go away.

Unfortunately, one of those problems decided to find him at the training area instead.

"This has gone on long enough!"

Lon'qu stumbled forward, too tired to correct his balance, and he fell against one of the straw training dummies. Looking up, he saw Chrom's tactician glaring at him, arms crossed. The myrmidon opened his mouth, trying to say… something, but she cut him off.

"You've been avoiding me for days, Lon'qu! Why?" Wren's glare deepened, if that was even possible. Lon'qu was suddenly very aware that she was less than a yard away from him. How had she gotten that close without him noticing?

"I…" He gulped, trying to order his thoughts. She was right; he had avoided her when he could. Lon'qu wanted to propose more than anything, but now… he didn't think he could. It was too hard to be around her and not be able to tell her anything, so he avoided the problem. Just like his fear of women… "N-nothing."

Wren groaned in annoyance, casting a glance heavenward before returning to her glare. "That's not an answer. Tell me why you've been avoiding me." She paused before adding, "If it's because I'm a woman… I'll understand."

Something in her voice sounded pained, as if she had just said some difficult truth. Lon'qu had no idea what to do. How did one deal with women? "No!" he gasped, surprised that he had been holding his breath. "No, it's… not that."

"Then what is it?" Wren took a step toward him. Why was she doing that? She knew he got jumpy around women. And was it just his imagination or was she clenching her cloak as tightly as he was some stray straw on the dummy? Her anger was clear in her eyes, but there seemed to be something more there, as well.

"I…" He finally couldn't take it anymore. Her gaze cut through him as easily as a sword, and Lon'qu had to look down to even get the words out. "I'm not… good enough."

"Come again?"

The myrmidon hazarded a look back up at the tactician as he heard the surprise in her voice. Wren looked stunned and very confused. No longer was she glaring; she was just… staring. "I'm… not good enough," he repeated. The words were coming more easily now that the tactician's tone had softened. "I wanted to… get better. Before you saw me…"

There was a single moment when he saw a realization pass through her eyes, then she let out a sigh, a slight smile on her face. "That's it? If this is about your fighting ability, then –"

"That's not it!" Lon'qu tensed as Wren flinched at his outburst. No… he didn't want to scare her away, but he didn't want to tell her. She was smart; she could figure it out… couldn't she? The myrmidon let go of the training dummy and reached toward her… but stopped almost immediately. He dearly wanted to hold her, but he was too afraid to even touch her. "I mean… I'm not good enough… for… you…" The last word came out as barely more than a whisper.

Wren's brow furrowed, but he could tell that it wasn't out of anger or annoyance. It was the same look she got when presented with a puzzle… a confused yet determined look. "Good enough… for me?" she tilted her head as she asked. The myrmidon could almost see her thoughts reflected in her eyes, going by with such speed that he was sure anyone else would be dizzy. She sighed heavily, dropping her head and letting her arms hang down at her sides. "You're gonna have to help me on that one. I don't think I understand."

Lon'qu mentally kicked himself for even mentioning his feelings. There was no way he could ignore that; he was sure that, once she knew what happened, she would push him away. Or worse. But he had never seen her so… lost before. Wren always had the answers, always knew what to do. Such an honest admission that, for once, she _didn't_ understand was almost unsettling. The myrmidon couldn't – wouldn't – let that stand. "I have… feelings. For you," he said haltingly. Unconsciously, Lon'qu's hand gripped the fabric of his trousers where the ring was still resting. "But I… I'm not good… with women…" That was an understatement, but she already understood the severity of his phobia.

The tactician looked up at him, and now he was sure that there were tears forming in her eyes. Why would _she_ be crying? Lon'qu was the one confessing. When all Wren did was nod, the myrmidon gulped and continued.

"I got… something… for you, but," he looked off to the side and closed his eyes, "everyone thought I got it for… a man."

With that, it was out in the open. Lon'qu didn't want to see her reaction, didn't want to see her disgust. The silence he heard instead just made him surer that Wren was revolted. After all, what woman wanted to be with someone accused of… that? Before she could say anything, the myrmidon gritted his teeth and growled, "Go ahead; say it. I'm weak… pathetic… disgusting! I don't deserve to be with any–"

Lon'qu gasped as he felt Wren embrace him, her head barely going up to his shoulder. His first instinct was to run, but as he opened his eyes at the sudden contact, the myrmidon found that he just didn't have the strength to push her away. At first, he thought that all he could hear was the pounding of his own heart… then he realized that it was Wren. Crying.

"What are you… _hic_… talking about, you… _hic_… stubborn idiot?" the tactician managed to choke out between sobs. "You're the best man I…_ hic_… know."

"What?" Lon'qu whispered. His breath had fled his body as soon as Wren hugged him, so it was really all he could manage. "I… don't…"

The tactician shook her head, then looked up at him. Tears were streaming from the corners of her eyes, but her smile… it was so weak and timid, but it made his heart jump anyway. "I like you, Lon'qu. I like you… _hic_… a lot."

He didn't really know why, but Lon'qu was finally able to move at those words. And he just… put his arms around her. Gently. Slowly, he lowered his head so they were just barely touching foreheads. "You… why?"

Wren giggled a bit. "I don't know," she said, resting her head against his chest again. "I just do. And… uh, if you don't like me… you know… hugging you… just say so."

It was Lon'qu's turn to shake his head. He was close to tears himself. She didn't care? What if people thought he was just trying to prove them wrong by being with her? How would she know? Then it hit him: he hadn't even thought of struggling against her hold, not even when she caught him off guard. Of course, his gynophobia was gone around her… and she was smart enough to figure it out. "I… huu, why must all these emotions be so… vexing?" The myrmidon felt Wren shrug. She didn't know either. He let go of her cloak, reaching into his pocket. "Um… here," he said, opening his hand between them, the ring sitting in his palm.

Wren let go of him and backed up a step, and Lon'qu was surprised to realize that he missed the feeling of closeness. "R-really? You… want to… marry me?"

"Yes." It was the only thing the myrmidon said without hesitation or haste. When the tactician didn't say anything immediately, he cleared his throat and asked, "W-will you? Even after… all that?"

Wren smiled at him, taking his hand in hers. "Yes," she said, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. "Yes."

**A/N: As usual, comments, questions, or critiques would be appreciated.**

**Thank you for reading my story.**

**P.S. A special thank you to everyone who reviewed. Your support really does mean a lot to me, and gives me the confidence to write what I once never thought I could. Thank you.**


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